


Is it Better to Know?

by ChokolatteJedi



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Hogwarts Seventh Year, Homophobia, M/M, One Shot, Pre - Half-Blood Prince
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-14
Updated: 2007-02-14
Packaged: 2017-10-14 05:23:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/145821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/pseuds/ChokolatteJedi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seventh year. Harry loves Draco, but is worried about telling everyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is it Better to Know?

**Author's Note:**

> For the slythindor100 Valentine's day challenge, with the quote, "When they asked me what I loved most about life, I smiled and said you." The quote mentioned in the fic is from the movie Empire Records and is said by AJ.

"Well, is it better to know, or not to know?"

I don't know where that quote originally came from, but I heard it a few summers ago when I was working at the Tesco to 'pay back my uncle for so generously taking me in off the streets.' Whatever. I just remember that one of the girls working there with me said that it was her life's motto, and I kinda liked the sound of it.

Is it better to know?

Is it better to know, and to risk everything you ever wanted, or is it better to pretend that you are happy?

I honestly don't know.

Justin Finch-Fletchley came out to the whole school last year. I guess he thought that wizards would be more tolerant of his choice than muggles. I don't know what gave him that idea; look at how we treat muggle-borns.

Anyway, the entire school turned against him. Especially Ron. But not Draco. He would smirk whenever Justin was brought up, but I never saw him confront the Hufflepuff, or even say one mean thing to him about being gay.

Even without Draco's taunting, it was too much for Justin. He went home for Christmas break our sixth year and never came back. I don't even know what happened to him.

Is it better to know?

Justin thought so. I don't know what I think, though. One the one hand; knowing. I tell Draco that I like him. Either he rejects me and the entire wizarding world gets to tear me down, or he accepts me and the entire wizarding world tears us down together. Maybe I am better off not knowing. I'll never love anyone else half as much, I'll never get to have a family, but I'll still be a part of this world. I don't know what I would do if I had to go back to the muggle world.

Maybe it would be different for me. I am the boy-who-lived, after all. I mean, they still need me to defeat Voldemort, right? Maybe they wouldn't care as much.

Or maybe they would hate me even more, because I'm supposed to be this better-than-everything-petty savior.

Is it better to know?

I think so. I know that this could be the most painful thing I ever do, but I have to know the truth. I think I'll do it tonight. We're supposed to have a seventh year getting-to-know-each-other meeting, so that we can finally put aside the house prejudices they've been pounding into us for the last six years and 'really understand' these people that we'll be working with in the real world. Riiight.

Well, here goes everything.

\---

"Alright, thank you Hannah," McGonagall smiled at the girl. McGonagall, Sprout, Flitwick, and Snape were running the seventh year meeting as usual. Every year they sat in the empty classroom next to the Headmaster's staircase and asked each student the same questions, so that they could all get to know each other. Well, Snape didn't so much ask the questions as he sneered at the answers, but it was a tradition.

"Hermione, it's your turn," Sprout said. "What do you love most about life?"

"Books," Hermione replied promptly. Harry, Ron, and Seamus snickered.

"Anything else?" Sprout asked.

Hermione thought for a minute. "Well, libraries are nice too." The Gryffindor boys burst out laughing, ignoring the glares that both Hermione and Snape were shooting them with.

"Right. Thank you, Hermione," Flitwick said once the boys had calmed somewhat. "Harry? What about you? What do you love most about life?"

The lingering traces of laughter in Harry's expression fled and he looked down, apparently thinking about his answer. His hair was hanging down, so no one could tell what his expression was, or why it was taking him so long to answer the question that most of the students had responded to so quickly.

At last Harry looked back up, a small smile tugging up the corners of his mouth.

"Draco."

\---

Is it better to know?

Yes. Yes, I risked everything I had, and yes, I could have stayed silent, but in the end I decided that knowing was better, even if the knowledge hurt me.

Now I know.


End file.
